Letters: February 2006

Written Correspondences from Good Natured Gentlemen Who Have Read Our Previous Installments and Wish to Comment on Some Aspects Thereof.

Dear Axes & Alleys,
There is a reoccurring phenomenon which continues to threaten the safety of the human race. This is the plague of alien abductions. So many people continually travel to the planet of Ghos Kento into the Ghosasu System for the purpose of taking aliens from their homes and doing experiments on them. What are we even supposed to learn from these abductions? Plucking aliens from their sleep platforms, taking them aboard our ships and cloacally probing them is a cruel practice. Axes & Alleys should bring light to this barbaric practice so that NASA will stop these alien abductions once and for all.
Lauren Van Der Hoos.
Movingon.org Dear

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Classified Ads: January 2006

WANTED
Hibernian buffalo of undetermined gender with brown fur and sunny disposition. Must enjoy tin cans and axle grease on Sundays and be able to calculate the angular momentum of Mars-sized bodies throughout the Solar System. Call Terry: 223-8407

FOR RENT
Half a high hat cymbal. No refunds, no warranty. Reginald box 573874

WANTED
50 kazoos for marching band. Must own own kazoo. No kazoo will be provided!
Wilma Selmerensonson 432 Pattern Blvd. West Moronia, CT 09323

FOR SALE
Half-rotten Dutch settler. Comes with own fungus and shovel. No cufflinks, only one testicle. Please provide evidence of good home and proper storage facility to Sandy Parkinson, age 47, Lookumpin, PT

FOR SALE
Remember New Orleans? I don’t much either. That’s why I’ve created this origami version of the fabled jazz city. Resembles Chicago more than The Big Easy, but only to trained eye. $40 or best offer. Barry Nagin 2 W. 2nd St. Twosville, NH

WANTED
An amen. Can I get an amen? tperkins@gwvgh.net

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