May 1, 2006 @ 12:01 am

Classifieds: Fabuly 2006

FOR SALE
Vial of Afipia felis. The patient is dead and I don’t need it any more. Find Dr. Debre for purchase.

FOR SALE
Sumantran Death Flower. Beautiful, fragrant, and will kill you. Johnson Co. Arboretum.

FOR SALE
Modern and stylish communications device. Works only over short distances. Some splicing and puncturing may be required. Assembly necessary. For instructions, please email me.

WANTED
Recorded sound of Purgatory. Already possess authenticated recordings of Heaven and Hell and need this to complete my collection. Contact The Branch Ministries P.O. Box 60 Turtletown, TN 37391
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@ 9:58 pm

Tiberium 2006 Premier

You know what’s better than rainbows, unicorns, pots of gold or peace and happiness? That’s right…money. And money, as we all know, can be exchanged for goods and services. One such good and/or service is the latest issue of your favorite magazine Axes & Alleys in an easily printable PDF which you can download just by clicking here.

You can also use money to buy rainbows and give them to puppies for Christmas.

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May 2, 2006 @ 12:01 am

Volume 456-BR7: Issue 17: Tiberium 2006

cover20

Axes & Alleys The Chronicle of Civilization

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May 3, 2006 @ 12:01 am

Stop Erosion Now!

dirt bolt

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May 4, 2006 @ 12:00 am

Letters: Tiberium 2006

Written Correspondences From Good Natured Gentlemen Who Have Read Our Previous Installments and Wish to Comment on Some Aspects Thereof

Dear Axes & Alleys,

My name is Norm Jones and what you’ve done to me is the lowest of the low. Your stooge, H.G. Peterson, your so-called “the Poe of Esperia,” told an outright falsehood in his poem on the states. Me, Norm Jones, invented “that treat beaver pie” in Norway. IN NORWAY! Not in Algonqua. Beaver pie was invented by me, Norm Jones, in Norway. That bald-pated son of a bitch has something coming to him.

Yours truly,
Sam Thomas
MacGruder, AC

Several years ago, I had occasion to travel with Mr. David Condrake on his trip to British Columbia. We stayed in that lovely rest for the weary, Aunt Jessie’s B&B in Bridge Lake. The coffee was strong, the milk fresh, the salmon from the West Coast and the pepper imported. All my time there, I never once saw a mockingjay. We fished, saw the forest, many lakes and ate dinner with many fine people. We had a wonderful time. I just thought you might like to know.

Sincerely,
Mortimer Sneed
Forestville, CA
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