Beaker, Popeye, Squid

Welcome to the brink of a new year my readers. I’m sure most of you are trying to kill time before going to various Eve activities. Let me offer some help to whittle down the hours.

Beaker Performs Ode to Joy

Popeye is in the public domain starting tomorrow. Get cracking on your 43 volume Popeye fan fiction. Actually, that’s not a joke. Put together your best Popeye art, let us know about it in comments or via email, and the best artwork we get will win an autographed Daniel Bester sheet of paper.

My personal favourite for the day is Build your own squid. I would love to see what you folks come up with.

Sex, Bugs, and…Andy Rooney?

We’re a day away from the new year and all seems right with the world. War, poverty, and death are all in places where I can’t see them. Well, except the poverty, which still exists in a nation as rich as ours. I’m sorry, you were looking for sex, right? Or possibly Andy Rooney? On with Three Links!

Worried about what to say in the throes of passion with your anonymous New Year’s Eve sex partner tomorrow? Worry no more with this Things to Say During Sex flow chart.

Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE bugs. If it’s got more than four legs, more than two eyes, and is ugly under magnification, I want to know about it. The Hellstrom Chronicle is a 1971 Academy Award Winning documentary warning about the dangers posed to humanity from arthropods. Don’t start watching this if you don’t want some interesting science, a good laugh, and lots of bugs.

You may remember Andy Rooney from his appearance in our History’s Top Curmudgeons article. You should check that out, but it’s not our third link for today. That honour goes to metal_floss and their Did Andy Rooney Really Say That? lunchtime quiz. I got 10 out of 15, how about you?

Fifty Toys That Never Quite Took Off

  1. The one piece erector set
  2. Lesbian Barbie™
  3. Difficult Bake Oven
  4. Coolidge Logs
  5. The 100% Negative Magic 8 Ball
  6. Ralph Nader’s Jungle Fort Playset
  7. Edible mini-Slinkies
  8. GI Joe™ KP Duty Playset
  9. Matchbox’s Cars of the Soviet Bloc Deluxe Set
  10. Wretch-a-Sketch
  11. The Doll Hovel
  12. Lawn Daggers
  13. The Flaming Kite
  14. Bucket o’ Twigs
  15. Slug Mansion
  16. Smurf® Collective Farm Playset
  17. Transformers® Plywoodobots
  18. Garfield Calculus Activity Book
  19. My Little Serpent
  20. Fully Satisfied Hippos
  21. Pre-Socratic Philosophers dress up set
  22. The Mud Tub
  23. Assorted Lugnuts in a Can
  24. Severed Rabbit Head
  25. Jr. Accountant Spread Sheet of Fun
  26. Nonexistor!® The Incorporeal Action Figure
  27. Mr. Taro-Root Head
  28. Bag of Fire
  29. Napoli & Sons Slaughterhouse: The Role Playing Game
  30. Human Antenna Suit
  31. Locktite™ Legos™
  32. Vivisection Dance Party
  33. Bob Dole Virtual Reality Goggles
  34. Hobby Porcupine
  35. The Electric Hoop
  36. Lead Duck
  37. Rubik’s Point
  38. Viscera in a Jar
  39. Fisher-Price Anal Beads
  40. Kiddie Chain Gang
  41. Toddler-Time Whetstone
  42. Plasticized Eyeball Marbles
  43. checker
  44. Ampu Tee Ball
  45. Cocaine Mule (Water-soluble Lubricant Included)
  46. Reality Television Slut Kit
  47. Tiny Torturer
  48. Aerosmith: The Experience
  49. The Kid in the Iron Mask
  50. Vlad Tepes Chamber of Hamster Horrors

Lies, Strangers, and Mars

It’s a brisk boxing day and I’ve spent the morning drinking coffee, watching Rome, and redesigning I still took a bit of time out from my busy schedule for you dear readers. Here are three links.

Clouds Cover Volcanoes on Mars

You’ve got questions. These folks don’t answer them.

Dave’s Web of Lies