In honour of our Danish colleagues:
…and Mohammed is His Prophet
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Category Archives: Jeremy Rosen
Birds
Volume 456-BR7 Issue 14
The Porcelain Coffin
A Cautionary Tale
by Hack “Sawtooth” Fixspear
As transcribed by Llewellyn Absalom
Now, everbody knows that the turlet is the most dangerous room ever invented.
You got that there suction thang with a handle. Don’t try sittin’ on it. On the floor there’s tile. I know it looks damn tasty, but eatin’ such is a bad idea. Some people are afeared of the plastic hangin’ across the shower, but don’t fret. There ain’t no bogey men or nothin’ behind that thing.
What I wanna speculate upon today is the shower. Saunter into any of them bathroom fixture places and ask a guy with a name tag about showers. You gotta really ask, though, otherwise you just get some hogwash about the flowin’ capacity and chrome fixtures. Buy the guy a beer and he’ll really start chatterin’. Stories, tons of stories, start pourin’ out about fellers who made that shower their final restin’ place. That’s why, in the Industry, it’s called the Porcelain Coffin.
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Scooter Memories IV
An Ongoing Continuing Serialized Narrative
by Jeremy-Joseph Rosen
And there in a flash was Javier. Not the Javier he had known. No trowel-wielding child was he. In the three seconds during which Scooter saw Javier flash by, he knew exactly who the man in the bright red Yugo was. Older, more withdraw than he had been as a child, but it was Javier.
The car was parked in a lot adjoining the station Scooter’s express train had just shot through. In an instant Scooter came to life. The train would be making a stop at the next station down and he would get off, grab a train going the other direction and find Javier.
Since he had burned down the corn stalk, no one had seen him. There one day, not there that same day. While he may have disappeared, Javier’s influence lasted considerably longer.
One year after discovering the growing palm tree in the South grove, Scooter had noticed another odd thing. He had passed by it once or twice, but this time he really noticed. The experimental lemon bush. The lemons had changed to limes!
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