Advertisements: December 2003
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Category Archives: Quick Hits
Written Correspondences from Good Natured Gentlemen Who Have Read Our Previous Installments and Wish to Comment on Some Aspects Thereof
To the Editors,
I would sincerely enjoin you to print this open letter to my constituents as their kind support has gotten me to the pinnacle I’ve reached as of Tuesday’s election. Citizens of Porkford and Pickle County, thank you for your kind consideration in electing me the 8th St. and James Madison Blvd. Weird Guy of the Porkford Civil Departments. I am deeply gratified and honored at the overwhelming support from this community. Continue reading
Advertisements (Classified): November 2003
For Sale:
16 lbs. of carrot food. Great tasting, your carrots are guaranteed to eat up this fine and nutritious meal. Call Joe Strebling an asshole.
For Sale:
Two energy levels of six energy level electron shell. $7 or best offer. Sorry, all shells filled randomly. Contact Stephen H. at 734-1862.
Wanted:
Amateur garden hose roller for retirement home community. Must have experience rolling hoses of all ages, ranging from rubber to plastic sheathed mylar fabric. Washer assembly knowledge a plus. $6.25/hr plus meals. Eldritch Home for the Hose, 1635 Weatherby Way, Quonset, NT Continue reading
Written Correspondences from Good Natured Gentlemen Who Have Read Our Previous Installments and Wish to Comment on Some Aspects Thereof
Dear Sirs, Madam and other Sirs,
I am writing to you in order to secure more photographic pictorializations of Dave.
On page 18 of “Axes and Alleys” issue 17, you feature a collectible visual reference square of Dave. We in our family have grown quite accustomed to our photograph of Mr. Davey (as we call him). We bring him with us to the talking pictures, have him around at supper time and leave him to his private time in the mornings. We believe he performs relaxing meditations based upon Oriental philosophical concepts, but are unsure. Continue reading
Classifieds: October 2003
FOR SALE:
Modern statuary kit. Includes hammer, chisel and poor sense of perspective and proportion. Optional abstract attachments included. Offer good while supplies last. $35 basic, $45 with abstractions kit. Yell Mike from your nearest window and I’ll come running.
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