Monthly Archives: January 2009

Jeremy Rosen Special Feature

Wildfires

Before I really get into this, you should watch the following. It’s worth the thirty seconds.

Okay, you hear that bit at the end?

Only you can prevent wildfires.

I know what you’re thinking. “Yeah, they changed it from forest fires.” However, that’s not it at all. I’m talking about the bit before the bit at the end.

Nine out of ten wildfires are caused by humans.

Nine out of ten. That’s 90%. So the vast majority of wildfires are caused by humans. I get that. Basically I should be careful with cigarettes, firecrackers, fireworks, roadflares, Duraflame™ logs, movie stunts, and toast.

But that still leaves 10% not caused by humans. If 10% of wildfires have no connection to me or anyone related to me closely through the evolutionary tree of life, I can only see one conclusion. Even I cannot prevent wildfires.

Time to head to Yellowstone with some matches…

Scott Birdseye

Reflective Glass Tables

Henderson's Oddly Reflective Glass Tables

Henderson's Oddly Reflective Glass Tables

Jeremy Rosen Special Feature Three Links

The Fractal Bear, Jerboa, John Wilkes Booth

It’s barely Saturday morning, the snow has started, and it’s definitely time for Three Links.

Your cute for the day: long-eared jerboa.

Your weird for the day: the fractal teddy bear.

Your education today: did you know that before he assassinated Lincoln, John Wilkes Booth owned an oil company in western Pennsylvania? Read about the Dramatic Oil Company here.

AA TV Jeremy Rosen

Conspiracy Theories & Tits

How to Do It Jeremy Rosen Special Feature

How to Tell if You’re In Love

  1. Sasquatch tells you so.
  2. You stitch your loved-one’s name into your socks.
  3. Suddenly you start liking death metal.
  4. One afternoon you decide to make dioramas of the best scenes from Say Anything, but you replace the main characters with you and the person you love.
  5. You give up your religion, your family, and your community.
  6. Their goitre doesn’t bother you one bit.
  7. In conversation with your friends, you say “Their feet don’t smell that bad.”
  8. So their apartment’s infested. So what?
  9. You tell them you hate their sexual orientation.
  10. When you think about them you get nauseous. This could also be indicative of salmonella poisoning or existential angst.