Fan Fiction for the Universe
- Sasquatch tells you so.
- You stitch your loved-one’s name into your socks.
- Suddenly you start liking death metal.
One afternoon you decide to make dioramas of the best scenes from Say Anything, but you replace the main characters with you and the person you love.
- You give up your religion, your family, and your community.
- Their goitre doesn’t bother you one bit.
- In conversation with your friends, you say “Their feet don’t smell that bad.”
- So their apartment’s infested. So what?
- You tell them you hate their sexual orientation.
- When you think about them you get nauseous. This could also be indicative of salmonella poisoning or existential angst.