The A-Z of Kooky Ideas and Conspiracy Theories

Aliens routinely come to Earth and abduct people for use in a bizarre intergalactic breeding program.

Bruce Lee, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, George Reeves, Marilyn Monroe and Bob Marley were all murdered for various, shadowy reasons.

Cars can go up to 1,000 miles on a single gallon of gasoline, but this is covered up by oil companies and car manufacturers to increase their profits.

Daniel Bester Inc. is actually a front for the human allies of a dangerous alien empire that is attempting to take control of the Earth.

Energy from the human orgasm (orgone) is the most powerful thing in the universe; using it has allowed people to do everything from curing cancer to levitating the Pentagon.

Flying Saucers have been reverse-engineered by the Nazis, the Soviets and the USAF to develop advanced airplane technology.

Groom Lake, otherwise known as Area 51, is home to the corpses of several dead aliens whose ship crashed in New Mexico in 1947.

HAARP, the High-Frequency Active Auroral Research Program is a vast, powerful weather and/or mind control device created by the US Government.

Intelligent beings from other planets artificially influenced human evolution. These beings were the antecedent of all human religions. Also, they built the Pyramids.

Jews, through their banking and finance connections, run the entire world.

Kennedy was murdered by the CIA, in conjunction with the Soviets, the Mafia and possible Aristotle Onasis. Lee Harvey Oswald may have been involved.

Lemuria was an ancient continent which was first settled by aliens in roughly 100,000 BC. Later it sank beneath the oceans.

Mars was once home to an advanced civilization whose ruins, including a mile wide relief of a human face, can still be seen today in the region of Cydonia.

No one ever set foot on the Moon. NASA inexpertly faked the Apollo missions in order to avoid losing face in the Space Race, or perhaps because they didn’t want the public to know that the Moon is home to a massive UFO base.

Occult groups, including the Freemasons, the Illuminati and the Trilateral Commission, have secretly been controlling the world for thousands of years.

Possible locations of Atlantis include Thera, Egypt, Antarctica, Florida, England, the Azores, North Dakota, Turkey, Mars and the Atlantic.

Quieting UFO witnesses involves spending mysterious, quasi-robotic, agents dressed in black, to people’s homes to intimidate them.

Remote Frequency Identification Tags are implanted in people’s noses by the government and by aliens so they can keep track of everything.

September 11th was a purposeful act of deception orchestrated by the US Government. Controlled demolitions, rather than hijacked airplanes, actually destroyed the buildings.

The best way to utilize the unlimited power of the Mind is slightly alter the shape of table ware.

Underground UFO bases exist in the Himalayas. For years the Draconian Reptoids have been in contact with the Masters of the Hidden City of Shambala.

Volcanic eruptions are triggered by the close approach of Earth’s second moon Lilith.

War between the Grays, the Reptoids and the Nephillium caused Molad, the paradise planet between Mars and Jupiter, to be destroyed, thus creating the asteroid belt.

Xenobilogists have proven that catfish are direct descendants of extraterrestrial fish brought to Earth two million years ago by comets.

Years ago, all African people had bird like wings, enabling them to fly. Then, a mad scientist created white people who took over, driving the Winged Africans into extinction.

Zygotes develop a soul after the eighth cell division.

A Specialized Editorial by an Automatonal Conquistador


a cylon
This particular Centurion Cylon is very interested in 20th Century American politics.

I thought that I would make this about congress. old people always yell about how congress is bad, we have elections every year, so you can see how this affects our daily lives. I decided not to even mention that congress is not real because everone already knows that. Congressmen are fake just like elves, vumpires, and dinosaurs. But if you could be in Congress here are some of the perks.

First of all you get to PHILIBUSTER. For those who are stupid philibustering is when a senator will get up and talk for hours to keep a bill from getting voted on. The record is held by Strom Thurman for 24 hours. Now I do give this guy credit simce he is 645 years old, but all you could do was 24 hours?!

Let me in the senate. With coffee I could stay up forever. I could think of at least a year’s worth of stuff to talk about. And if you get stumped or out of ideas just say one word for a few days. Think about it, “No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No No” for 72 hours. Bring on the No-Doze.

Second you get bribes. Lobyists pay you to vote a certain way. Money. Just get the maximum five thousand for the Row vs Wade bill and every other bill that’s voted on. Think about it you get five grand for voting yes on the dog leash laws in Hicktown, Idaho. If congress votes on a thousand laws a term thats 5,000,000 in your pocket. Totaly free. congress is cool!

Save 'n' Such


Serious Putty