It’s a brisk boxing day and I’ve spent the morning drinking coffee, watching Rome, and redesigning AxesAndAlleys.com. I still took a bit of time out from my busy schedule for you dear readers. Here are three links.
Clouds Cover Volcanoes on Mars
You’ve got questions. These folks don’t answer them.
Dave’s Web of Lies
1. Draw up a list of your estimate of the basic attributes of a carrot. Then, lower those values by 98%.
2. Consult with a highly qualified carrot expert. Mockingly disregard his or her statements.
3. Find every book or peer-reviewed journal article about carrots. Don’t bother reading them.
4. Set up a scale for carrots as follows; 1-2 extremely poor, 3-4 markedly poor, 5-6 ridiculously poor. Roll a six sided die and let that stand as your determined carrot value.
5. Laugh mockingly at them while cackling that carrots could never defeat you. Then get defeated.
6. Draw up a completely fool-proof plan for destroying all carrots, but leave out one crucial piece of information.
7. Miss the average vitamin A content of a carrot by 3%.
8. Make a special rule where each inch mark is actually at the 2 and 3/8th inch mark. Then measure several carrots and record their lengths.
9. Look at a field full of carrots. Guess three.
10. Ask someone to name the best thing about carrots. When they give their answer, disagree with them.
11. Confuse carrots with seals.
Aliens routinely come to Earth and abduct people for use in a bizarre intergalactic breeding program.
Bruce Lee, Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, George Reeves, Marilyn Monroe and Bob Marley were all murdered for various, shadowy reasons.
Cars can go up to 1,000 miles on a single gallon of gasoline, but this is covered up by oil companies and car manufacturers to increase their profits.
Daniel Bester Inc. is actually a front for the human allies of a dangerous alien empire that is attempting to take control of the Earth.
Energy from the human orgasm (orgone) is the most powerful thing in the universe; using it has allowed people to do everything from curing cancer to levitating the Pentagon.
Flying Saucers have been reverse-engineered by the Nazis, the Soviets and the USAF to develop advanced airplane technology.
Groom Lake, otherwise known as Area 51, is home to the corpses of several dead aliens whose ship crashed in New Mexico in 1947.
HAARP, the High-Frequency Active Auroral Research Program is a vast, powerful weather and/or mind control device created by the US Government.
Intelligent beings from other planets artificially influenced human evolution. These beings were the antecedent of all human religions. Also, they built the Pyramids.
Jews, through their banking and finance connections, run the entire world.
Kennedy was murdered by the CIA, in conjunction with the Soviets, the Mafia and possible Aristotle Onasis. Lee Harvey Oswald may have been involved.
Lemuria was an ancient continent which was first settled by aliens in roughly 100,000 BC. Later it sank beneath the oceans.
Mars was once home to an advanced civilization whose ruins, including a mile wide relief of a human face, can still be seen today in the region of Cydonia.
No one ever set foot on the Moon. NASA inexpertly faked the Apollo missions in order to avoid losing face in the Space Race, or perhaps because they didn’t want the public to know that the Moon is home to a massive UFO base.
Occult groups, including the Freemasons, the Illuminati and the Trilateral Commission, have secretly been controlling the world for thousands of years.
Possible locations of Atlantis include Thera, Egypt, Antarctica, Florida, England, the Azores, North Dakota, Turkey, Mars and the Atlantic.
Quieting UFO witnesses involves spending mysterious, quasi-robotic, agents dressed in black, to people’s homes to intimidate them.
Remote Frequency Identification Tags are implanted in people’s noses by the government and by aliens so they can keep track of everything.
September 11th was a purposeful act of deception orchestrated by the US Government. Controlled demolitions, rather than hijacked airplanes, actually destroyed the buildings.
The best way to utilize the unlimited power of the Mind is slightly alter the shape of table ware.
Underground UFO bases exist in the Himalayas. For years the Draconian Reptoids have been in contact with the Masters of the Hidden City of Shambala.
Volcanic eruptions are triggered by the close approach of Earth’s second moon Lilith.
War between the Grays, the Reptoids and the Nephillium caused Molad, the paradise planet between Mars and Jupiter, to be destroyed, thus creating the asteroid belt.
Xenobilogists have proven that catfish are direct descendants of extraterrestrial fish brought to Earth two million years ago by comets.
Years ago, all African people had bird like wings, enabling them to fly. Then, a mad scientist created white people who took over, driving the Winged Africans into extinction.
Zygotes develop a soul after the eighth cell division.
1. What makes a work is the interpretation of the mind.
2. What lies between touches both.
3. “Completion” is not the end of creation.
4. The seeds he planted came to Bud by chance.
5. Naysaying is not saying. (If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands.)
6. Be ready to deal with the fact that you’re not going to be happy with the end-product of your work.
7. The whole is much greater when its parts are put together in just the right way without second-guessing the form and function of that creation.
8. The simplest elements strengthen a work because they are the elements which require the least thought.
9. Follow your thoughts without resorting to artifice.
10. Embrace editing and drop what you like the most first. (Be careful when holding small children.)
11. Some works are created to impart meaning; some works are created to show off.
12. The contempt of the present is not yet the judgment of history.
13. Creation is never quite what you intended; sometimes it’s way off.
14. Attempting to impart a growing body of information in a work will likely leave it without stability.
15. Knowing something exposes it to all of our prejudices and preconceptions making that knowledge something else entirely.
16. Building a work opens a small pinhole view of the nose of God.
17. Your thoughts operate differently from your feelings; note the differences and use them.
18. Work without fear of what has already been said and done.
19. Learn what changes between concept and application.
20. Any element in a work will affect the other elements around it.
Throughout its long and glorious history, the United States has had many different enemies, each more nefarious than the last. First the British, then the Barbary Pirates, the Indians, the Mexicans, the Spanish, the Germans, the Russians and the Muslims. But no enemy has ever been more dangerous than bunting. Bunting is the true enemy of the United States and of all peace-loving people world wide.
So, this month, do what you can to destroy bunting. A good way to win a victory over the forces of bunting is to download the latest issue of Axes & Alleys. That’ll show ’em.
Download the newest issue of Axes & Alleys today and feel free to ogle all of our previous issues in the archive.
