Tag Archives: mars

Jeremy Rosen Special Feature Three Links

Lies, Strangers, and Mars

It’s a brisk boxing day and I’ve spent the morning drinking coffee, watching Rome, and redesigning AxesAndAlleys.com. I still took a bit of time out from my busy schedule for you dear readers. Here are three links.

Clouds Cover Volcanoes on Mars

You’ve got questions. These folks don’t answer them.

Dave’s Web of Lies

Jeremy Rosen News of the World

INVASION REVEALED AS HOAX!

Reports of Outbreak of War Between Worlds of Earth and Mars Just An Elaborate Radio Show Claim Mercury Theater Producers
Orson WellesOmar BradleyAlvin the Martian
Above (from left): Orson Welles, instigator of the hoax; General Bradley, did not invade Mars; Alvin the Martian, Ambassador to the Earth

California- Representatives of the Mercury Theatre Company, including producer Orson Welles, met with the Los Angeles District Attorney this morning, to reveal to the world, once and for all, that their reports of actual battle between between Earthlings and Martians were nothing more than an elaborately conceived hoax, designed to create chaos and disorder in order to allow for a Communist overthrow of the Roosevelt Administration and the creation of a Union of American Socialist Republics (UASR). Aired last night between the hours of 9 pm and 1 am, the illicit broadcast feigned an interruption of normal radio shows for the announcement of the outbreak of interplanetary war.

rioters
Rioters, confused by the Hoax, destroy Cleveland.
Ill-Educated Public
Members of the Ill-Educated Public are easily duped.

At 9:53, Eastern Standard Time, Orson Welles, masquerading as a radio announcer, reported that advanced units of the United States Army, including the 101st Airborne Division and the 4th Cavalry Division had landed near Tharsis and established a beachhead after preliminary bombing of the entire Olympus Mons region. Welles insisted that the invasion army, under the command of General Omar Bradley, had experienced little resistance and was beginning to move in toward the Martian Capital City.

When reached for comment, General Bradley insisted that neither he nor any soldiers under his command had traveled to Mars, nor were they involved in any invasion. Alvin, the Martian ambassador to Earth, was quoted earlier by reporters. “Oooh,” he stated, “this broadcast makes me unhappy. I hope that this anti-Martian action will not affect relations between our normally friendly worlds. The Mars-Earth relationship is very important to my people, especially with regard to our joint projects concerning the development of Uranium Pew-36 Explosive Space Modulator technologies.”

The broadcasts caused great clamor on both Earth and Mars, resulting in riots and disturbances as many citizens took the news of war at face value and panicked. The resulting riots and chaos completely destroyed the city of Cleveland, which is now a smoldering ruin. While Welles and his colleagues claimed the report was merely an Halloween entertainment, and that rumors of its use as a Communist Revolutionary weapon are unfounded, authorities were quick to arrest the operators of the Mercury Theatre Troop, all of whom have been transported to FBI headquarters for interrogation.

Meanwhile, all civilian broadcasting has been indefinitely suspended and the authorities ask that citizens remain behind locked doors, hoarding supplies until the Communist agitators can be located and exterminated.