Blue Prize Winner!

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It’s that time of year again, time to bust out the old pie charts, poster boards and bread mold. Since everyone in your class will be mucking about with mouse mazes, magnets and plants, we are happy to offer you some Science Fair Projects that’ll guarantee you the blue ribbon and the A plus.

Elementary School Level:
1. See which tastes better; bacon or dog food. What about window cleaner? Is bleach tastier than paint? See how many things around your house you can eat or drink. You’d be surprised how many there are!

2. Biology can be a rich subject. Did you know that pet stores sell mice for only twenty five cents each? Why not buy five dollars worth and see how much force it takes to kill them. Try nails, hammers, bricks or even a blender or microwave oven. Isn’t biology fun?

3. Mop and pop sure have a lot of pills in that there medicine cabinet. See what happens when you force feed them to your younger brother or sister. Neat huh?
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For the Modern Home

With Lucy Frogger

Presents a Special Recipe For

Chicken Caesar Lasagna

Lasagna

Ingredients:

  • 2 boneless chicken breasts
  • 2 cloves of garlic
  • 1 tea spoon spicy mustard
  • 1 tea spoon of vinegar
  • 1 bunch of spinach
  • 1 1?2 cups of Caesar dressing
  • 2 cups of Alfredo Sauce
  • 1 table spoon of tomato sauce
  • 2 cups of romano cheese
  • 1 cup of mozzarella cheese (grated)
  • 1?2 cup of parmesan cheese (grated)
  • 1 package (roughly 16-20) lasagna noodles.
  • 2 teaspoon Extra Virgin olive oil.

Optional:

  • 1 small chopped onion
  • 1 chopped or sliced tomato

For vegetarian, substitute eggplant for chicken.

Directions:
Chop garlic finely and press, mix with mustard and vinegar and pour over chicken. Place chicken in a skillet with olive oil on low heat for 10-15 minutes until white throughout.

Cut chicken into fine slices and set aside in large bowl. Add the Caesar dressing and uncooked, rinsed spinach. Toss together until chicken, dressing and spinach are well mixed.

Add optional ingredients or spices to taste. Set a large pot on high heat, bring about three quarts of water to boil.

In a small saucepan, combine tomato and Alfredo sauces. Set on low heat. Stir occasionally until well mixed.

Spread a thin layer of sauce over the bottom of an oven-safe casserole dish. Once water is boiling, drop in the lasagna noodles, around five or six at a time. Cook until they can bend without breaking. Spread the cooked noodles in a flat row on the bottom of the casserole dish.

Spread layer of Romano cheese and sauce. Top with second layer of noodles. Add chicken and spinach layer and spread evenly. Top with parmesan cheese. Repeat layers of salad and cheese until all ingredients have been used or until desired thickness.

Top with final layer of noodles. Spread thin layer of sauce on top and pour grated mozeralla liberally over the top of the lasagna.

Bake at 300 degrees for 40-50 minutes, or until top layer is golden brown.

Serves 4-6 people.

The March of Progress: Tiberium 2006

Thanks to the ICC, Now Crime Does Pay

Crime Bucks

Criminals and counterfeiting are one of the most expected of expected things in the history of the Universe. So, it will come as no surprise to our faithful readers that the International Criminal Congress started printing money this week.

This money, however, is not counterfeit. This fully-legitimate currency is backed by the confidence of its consumers: criminals. Counterfeiting has been a perennial issue for the International Criminal Congress. World trade in counterfeit Monies is rampant in the criminal community.

It has become difficult for thieves, murderers, mafiosi, drug smugglers and the like to trust one another with so many fake Monies trading hands. How can an otherwise law-abiding arms smuggler sell weapons to a band of mountain renegades if he can’t be sure the Monies used are legitimate? He certainly cannot turn around and ask the International Currency Council for a refund, no sir.

Enter Bernard “Skull” Jones: hit man, confidence trickster, and ICC President. Mr. Jones examined the situation and decided to abandon ICC Monies altogether. He came up with the idea of the ICC printing its own money and after some mumbling, the motion was passed and so Crime Cash was born.
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Letters: Tiberium 2006

Written Correspondences From Good Natured Gentlemen Who Have Read Our Previous Installments and Wish to Comment on Some Aspects Thereof

Dear Axes & Alleys,

My name is Norm Jones and what you’ve done to me is the lowest of the low. Your stooge, H.G. Peterson, your so-called “the Poe of Esperia,” told an outright falsehood in his poem on the states. Me, Norm Jones, invented “that treat beaver pie” in Norway. IN NORWAY! Not in Algonqua. Beaver pie was invented by me, Norm Jones, in Norway. That bald-pated son of a bitch has something coming to him.

Yours truly,
Sam Thomas
MacGruder, AC

Several years ago, I had occasion to travel with Mr. David Condrake on his trip to British Columbia. We stayed in that lovely rest for the weary, Aunt Jessie’s B&B in Bridge Lake. The coffee was strong, the milk fresh, the salmon from the West Coast and the pepper imported. All my time there, I never once saw a mockingjay. We fished, saw the forest, many lakes and ate dinner with many fine people. We had a wonderful time. I just thought you might like to know.

Sincerely,
Mortimer Sneed
Forestville, CA
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