Axes & Alleys: Winner of the 1987 Bingo Championship!

For many years now, Axes & Alleys has been offering its readers free stickers with each issue, and as long as the world’s supply of adhesive holds out, we’ll continue to do so. It’s our pleasure.

Of course, the designs do have use beyond simple sticking (adhesion). They can also be tattoos. So, we’ve decided that the first five people to get a tattoo of one of our stickers and provide us with a photograph, will receive five American dollars in cash and a taco.

Not too shabby a deal. Not too shabby at all. So go out there, dear readers, and get inked.

Tiberium Cover Girl Roxie Epoxie is a
singer and performer. She is made of
molded plastic and has charts and graphs.

There are over 300,000 kinds of pasta. We don’t touch on any of them in this month’s issue of the magazine. Oh no, this is a pasta-free issue. We’re quite tired of pasta. It’s a bit gummy, covered in sauce, and doesn’t come in any higher-dimensional shapes.

Really, pasta kind of makes us angry. That red sauce? It sucks. Alfredo, BOOOOORING. Pesto gets stuck to the backs of our throats and makes us gag.

In that light, why not download the newest issue of Axes & Alleys today and feel free to ogle all of our previous issues in the archive.

John Denver said it best when he crashed his plane and died lo those years ago. Or so we’d like to assume of John Denver, since no one was there to hear his final words. Instead, we would rather quote Generalissimo Chiang Kai-Shek here. This is, unfortunately, impossible as the man’s utterings were thoroughly uninteresting.

So instead we’ll just let you know that this month’s issue of Axes & Alleys is full of depravity, debauchery, nudity, drugs, sexual innuendo, and tips on how to impersonate Lebanese pop sensation Nancy Ajram.

Download the newest issue of Axes & Alleys today and feel free to ogle all of our previous issues in the archive.

Axes & Alleys: Printed with 100% Boar-Free Inks

Here at Axes & Alleys we receive many letters asking us what we think of transportation. It’s about time we answered and let the world know that we do, in fact, think of transportation. Be it by donkey cart or supertankers, things can be moved from one place to another via the method of transport. Why, even this magazine was transported from our production plant to your local store, thanks, in great part, to transportation. So, truck or train, ship or plane, wagon or duck with small satchels strapped to it, transportation happens and so we’re devoting this issue to all things involving transportation. Do enjoy.

xxx ooo
Delores R. Grunion
Editor-in-Chief

The Fabuly Cover Girl: Alyson Hannigan

Alyson Hannigan played Evil Willow and Regular Willow on the critically acclaimed televisual program “How I Met Your Mother.”

Have you lost your keys today? Without keys you can’t lock your door or drive your car. So, you might as well just stay home from work and enjoy reading the latest issue of your favorite tractor repair and maintenance magazine.

And, in case you haven’t lost your keys, just throw them out the window so you can stay home anyway. Axes & Alleys newest issue is a key-tossing good time.

Download the newest issue of Axes & Alleys today and feel free to ogle all of our previous issues in the archive.