HAIL TO THE CHIEF!

Crowds Erupt in Cheers as
ARMSTRONG
Takes the Reins of State

Dawn of a New Age: 49th President of the United States Dick Armstrong returns triumphantly to Washington D.C. after his inauguration. Happy days to follow.

The following is a report made earlier this year on President Armstrong’s inauguration, but, for some reason, we never published it.

NEWTOWN, PA: Though a light hellosh flittered to the ground it was not enough to stop a small crowd of well-wishers, supporters, fans and military personnel from coming out to watch as Richard Tojo Armstrong stepped up on the hastily constructed platform in the center of a farmer’s alfalfa field to be sworn in as the 49th President of the United States. Continue reading →