From the Reverend Wolfpatty
Adam & Eve Discovered: Evidence for Both Creations Found!!!
Rev. Wolfpatty is the new Kings County Parson Extraordinary. He is a noted prestidigitator able to steal back captured souls from under Satan’s nose.
My friends, I come here today to spread good news! Digging is a most holy vocation and surely the blessings of the Lord are upon the diggers of the world today. Why, the Holy Spirit itself is like unto the shovel of the lord, piercing the filth and muck to reveal all which is great in Creation.
I read about a group of diggers in the great and arid land of Turkey yesterday and with you I must share word of what they uncovered. For, you see, they have found none other than the original sinners: wise Adam and his helpmate Eve.
They found their bodies. Yes, dear parishioners, this news is indeed a rubber ball gag shoved roughly in the mouths of skeptics, doubters and evil. No longer will they laugh and prance about. Oh no.
For I’ve seen the pictures and examined the evidence. On the left they found the skeleton of a human male! Even more, the text under the picture said the body was “from approximately 4000 BC.” And praise be, that most holy of relics was missing a rib! One single rib was just gone!
What of the female? Why, she was right next to him. A human rib, plain as day. Sitting right on the ground next to Adam was a single rib. What could that single rib be but the Biblical Eve?
As you’ll recall from memory, Genesis 2:21-23
21 So the LORD God caused a deep
sleep to fall upon the man, and he
slept; then he took one of his ribs
and closed up its place with flesh.
22 And the rib that the LORD God
had taken from the man he made
into a woman and brought her to
23 Then the man said, “This at last
is bone of my bones and flesh of
my flesh;this one shall be called
Woman, for out of Man this one
Isn’t it a great day to go forth and spread the message of the Lord? For in spreading as the ants, or the lemmings, or the algal bloom we bring the light of the Word to the dark, creepy, stank and rancid crevices of the world. Free Hydrox cookies and storebrand Dr. Pepper, called “Dr. Soda” will be served in the assembly hall from 9:00 to 9:35 on Sunday.