Axes & Alleys:Call a Toll-Free Number for Details!

There’s been a lot of talk lately about Global Warming, the Greenhouse Effect, the Next Ice Age, Killer Hurricanes, Dust Bowls and Nuclear Winter. Here at Axes & Alleys, we’re not worried about that all. For one, the Killer Bees will get us first. But, also because there’s a much deadlier and dangerouser threat facing humanity.

It’s called Global Fog, and it could spell the end of society, or at least the end of a society that features speedy driving. With Global Fog, you won’t be able to go more than twenty five miles per hour. The visibility would just be too reduced, you see.

So make sure you buy at least two copies of this issue to help Axes & Alleys in its quest to stop Global Fog. Together we can make a difference of some sort.

The AphrosCover Girl: Sela Ward

Sela Ward helps us all torealize that not
only can women over fifty be attractive,
they can also be cute.
Yes, we are sexist.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.”

These famous words can be a found in a brochure we got at Independence Hall in Philadelphia. And today, we urge you to heed these words and listen to that hallowed brochure. Yes, you should do what the brochure tells you and pursue your happiness. A great way to not only pursue happiness, but also catch it, it to check out this month’s new issue of Axes & Alleys. It features helpful hints for invading Long Island, the Historigon, our review of Telenovela Star’s new record, and tons of stickers.

Download the newest issue of Axes & Alleys today and feel free to ogle all of our previous issues in the archive.