Fifty Toys That Never Quite Took Off

  1. The one piece erector set
  2. Lesbian Barbie™
  3. Difficult Bake Oven
  4. Coolidge Logs
  5. The 100% Negative Magic 8 Ball
  6. Ralph Nader’s Jungle Fort Playset
  7. Edible mini-Slinkies
  8. GI Joe™ KP Duty Playset
  9. Matchbox’s Cars of the Soviet Bloc Deluxe Set
  10. Wretch-a-Sketch
  11. The Doll Hovel
  12. Lawn Daggers
  13. The Flaming Kite
  14. Bucket o’ Twigs
  15. Slug Mansion
  16. Smurf® Collective Farm Playset
  17. Transformers® Plywoodobots
  18. Garfield Calculus Activity Book
  19. My Little Serpent
  20. Fully Satisfied Hippos
  21. Pre-Socratic Philosophers dress up set
  22. The Mud Tub
  23. Assorted Lugnuts in a Can
  24. Severed Rabbit Head
  25. Jr. Accountant Spread Sheet of Fun
  26. Nonexistor!® The Incorporeal Action Figure
  27. Mr. Taro-Root Head
  28. Bag of Fire
  29. Napoli & Sons Slaughterhouse: The Role Playing Game
  30. Human Antenna Suit
  31. Locktite™ Legos™
  32. Vivisection Dance Party
  33. Bob Dole Virtual Reality Goggles
  34. Hobby Porcupine
  35. The Electric Hoop
  36. Lead Duck
  37. Rubik’s Point
  38. Viscera in a Jar
  39. Fisher-Price Anal Beads
  40. Kiddie Chain Gang
  41. Toddler-Time Whetstone
  42. Plasticized Eyeball Marbles
  43. checker
  44. Ampu Tee Ball
  45. Cocaine Mule (Water-soluble Lubricant Included)
  46. Reality Television Slut Kit
  47. Tiny Torturer
  48. Aerosmith: The Experience
  49. The Kid in the Iron Mask
  50. Vlad Tepes Chamber of Hamster Horrors

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