The Mapril Issue Online Premier

An independent panel of Swedish truck driving instructors has declared that Axes & Alleys’ Mapril issue is the best one ever. They probably said this because it contains such wonderful contents as a Spaceship Built by Ants, a few interesting anecdotes about Jimmy the Leper, Katie Stalin’s trip to the Grand Canyon, Faith DaBrooke’s thoughts on procrastination, plus all your favorites like Montezuma, Classifieds and Stickers, Stickers, Stickers.

Download the best ever issue of Axes & Alleys today and feel free to ogle all of our previous issues in the archive.

Volume 456-BR8: Issue 03: Pentember 2007

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Axes & Alleys:
And the World of Tomorrow!

Dear Readers, Listeners and Lookers,
You might not know it, but each and every issue of the world’s greatest tractor related magazine, Axes & Alleys, is printed in many different formats. There are over two-hundred and eight different languages (209 to be exact) as well as picture-only versions for the illiterate. Believe it or not, there is even an online version in PDF form that doesn’t exist; it’s all just 1s and 0s inside of computers.

Be sure to enjoy this issue, and maybe even check out the handcopied Monastic edition, the Islamic edition which features very few pictures of the prophet Muhammad, the Chinese version which you have to read backwards, or the Dutch-Stereotype version which comes with a tulip and wooden clogs.

Whichever version of this fine publication you happen to be reading, be sure to enjoy it and the wonderful tractor-related information contained therein.
xxx ooo
Delores R. Grunion
Editor-in-Chief

Pentember Cover-Girl Eva Green

Eva Green appeared as Vesper Lynd
in the good version of Ian Flemming’s
Casino Royale.She is much
better looking than either Ian Flemming or
Cubby Broccoli.

Maine Issue Premiere

Once again, the month of Maine is upon us; good ol’ Maine with its foosball championships, cranberry festivals and lovely sprautumn foliage.

And once again another New Year is upon us; this the two thousand and eighth year since the little-existent year naught and the fifteenth year since the utter and complete defeat of Marx’s plague, that pesky little ideology known as Communism. And what better way to celebrate the defeat of Communism than by enjoying a rowdy game of foosball and an a new issue of your favorite tractor repair and maintenance magazine.

Download the Maine Issue, and celebrate freedom and democracy!

Volume 456-BR8: Issue 02: Justinuary 2006

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Axes & Alleys: Our Last Best Hope for Peace!

snow

Last issue we bid a fond adieu to several writers who have passed out of our lives or passed on with their own. While we know the vast majority of our readers care not a whit about the people who make the magazine, we are quite aware of the importance of our articles, columns and features to them. Many of you have noted certain of these disappearing from our pages. Instead of introducing you to the exciting and, dare we say, new entrants upon these pages, we will show you a little of how the publishing of a magazine works by listing a few rejected candidates for inclusion in these pages.

The Snowman Report
Bob King, agriculture specialist of the Cornell Cooperative Extension of Monroe County, would write a monthly report on snowman infestations across America, control and extermination, as well as hobbyist breeding tips. As this feature would be largely seasonal, we rejected it out of hand.

Butane 12 Step Program
A resource for those addicted to the storage of butane, collection of butane products, and physical abuse against butane. While the concept did have widespread appeal, we were searching for new columns with staying power and this one would necessarily last only one year.

Yo-Yo Instructional Video Transcripts
Transcripts of various instructional yo-yo videos provided in partnership with www.yo-yo.org. Initially we felt this was a great concept and did attempt to insert such a feature in the last issue. Unfortunately it was unwieldy, took up over twelve pages, and featured not a single scantily-clad woman.

We hope you appreciate this peek into the backroom dealings and thought processes of Axes & Alleys. Also, we hope you appreciate the fact that we did not subject you to the above, quality-lowering concepts and their brethren in future issues of the magazine.