By Garnet “Collegebound” Bruell
Hello. My name is Garnet Bruell and I am lots of fun! I like hugs and colors and things that make peeping noises! I am going to go to college with you! Yay! We will be best friends!
I think college is an amazing place where good things happen to people. Going to college is like winning a delicious prize, and you can eat the prize, and after you’re done eating the prize you have a degree in biochemistry and a job at the Dow Chemical Corporation! I like to eat.
College is also a place for thinking. It is also not the only place for thinking. Other places for thinking include my room, my high school, an airplane, a bus, and a boat! But I am not applying to those places. I am applying to you! Thinking is sometimes a very nice thing.
Other people go to college too, so I won’t be the only one there! I would be very sad if I was the only one at college. I might even cry a little. And pee. All over. Because no one would be there to tell me it was bad. Now I kind of hope I am the only one there! But oh well, I am hoping to meet all sorts of people!
I had a lot of fun in high school butthere were also some bad times, like the time I never did any essays for any classes, or the time my lunchbox burned down, or all the math that I ate, or when three of us were locked in an elevator shaft and we had to decide who we were going to eat to survive (It was Jenny!). I hope to continue this “trend of excellence” at college! Also there will be new experiences! I like experiences.
Once, I overcame a great hurdle and achieved my goals! That is something colleges like to hear about. Colleges are very hurdle-oriented. The hurdle I had to overcome was sixteen feet tall and entirely made of fire! My goal was three feet after it though. I didn’t even cheat! I did it. It was all me. I am not lying.
In conclusion, I will have a lot of fun at college. College will be great! I will not defecate in all of the refrigerators. I will also not defecate in the specified toilets. It will be a college surprise! Thank you!
Love,
Garnet Bruell
