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College: My Essay About College

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By Garnet “Collegebound” Bruell

brad

Hello. My name is Garnet Bruell and I am lots of fun! I like hugs and colors and things that make peeping noises! I am going to go to college with you! Yay! We will be best friends!

I think college is an amazing place where good things happen to people. Going to college is like winning a delicious prize, and you can eat the prize, and after you’re done eating the prize you have a degree in biochemistry and a job at the Dow Chemical Corporation! I like to eat.

College is also a place for thinking. It is also not the only place for thinking. Other places for thinking include my room, my high school, an airplane, a bus, and a boat! But I am not applying to those places. I am applying to you! Thinking is sometimes a very nice thing.

Other people go to college too, so I won’t be the only one there! I would be very sad if I was the only one at college. I might even cry a little. And pee. All over. Because no one would be there to tell me it was bad. Now I kind of hope I am the only one there! But oh well, I am hoping to meet all sorts of people!

I had a lot of fun in high school butthere were also some bad times, like the time I never did any essays for any classes, or the time my lunchbox burned down, or all the math that I ate, or when three of us were locked in an elevator shaft and we had to decide who we were going to eat to survive (It was Jenny!). I hope to continue this “trend of excellence” at college! Also there will be new experiences! I like experiences.

Once, I overcame a great hurdle and achieved my goals! That is something colleges like to hear about. Colleges are very hurdle-oriented. The hurdle I had to overcome was sixteen feet tall and entirely made of fire! My goal was three feet after it though. I didn’t even cheat! I did it. It was all me. I am not lying.

In conclusion, I will have a lot of fun at college. College will be great! I will not defecate in all of the refrigerators. I will also not defecate in the specified toilets. It will be a college surprise! Thank you!

Love,
Garnet Bruell

college graph

Buckets

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This essay contains information on buckets. It does not contain information on non-bucket items.

An Essay on Buckets

by Company’s Sergeant Major (CSM)
Nigel Rivvens Surrey Stonehouse.
(4th Battalion, Durham Light Infantry)

Buckets are hollow containers distinguished from bins by their cylindrical shape. Bins, generally, are square or cubical. Pots, while cylindrical, have a side-mounted singular projecting prop handle while a bucket is usually noted by its double mounted 180 arc wire frame handle. Buckets may be constructed from any number of materials including, but not limited to, wood, plastic, metal or porcelain. They may or may not have a pouring lip perforation in the rim, located perpendicular to the handle mountings.

There may be containers, similar in design to what we have above described as buckets, but with surfaces punctuated by varied perforations. These are not buckets, but rather are strainers, for the primary function of a bucket is to contain water or another liquid. Thus may a bucket aid in the transport of liquids. Due to the non-solid surface, a strainer would be ineffective in holding or transporting fluids as the fluid would have a tendency to drain fromthe holes and fall toward the ground. A bucket, with its constant surface, avoids this problem.

Buckets are used by all manner of gentlemen, for instance, those who work for the Fire Department. Their vocational duties are so entwined with buckets that these firefellows are sometimes called a “Bucket Brigade.” Nomads of Arabia use wooden buckets to draw up life-giving water from isolated desert oases. Custodians of many buildings and structures the world over use buckets to hold their frothy, soap-strewn waters. Buckets are cool.