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Category Archives: Jeremy Rosen
Axes & Alleys Essay Questions
All essays should be 500-1000 words, double spaced 12 point Times New Roman font. You will be graded for clarity, accuracy, communication, knowledge of the texts and style, grammar and spelling. Please send all essays to:
Axes & Alleys
Special Essay Submission
c/o President Armstrong
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20500
Select One of the Following Questions for Your Essay:
1. Compare and contrast the role of police in a post-modern urban society with the texture of shag carpeting.
2. Does the Galaxy, as described by Douglas Adams in the Hitchhiker’s Trilogy function in a way that is more or less democratic than the 17th Century Viceroyalty of Panama? What part did warfare and piracy play in the development of both societies?
3. In what ways is the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis consistent with ship building techniques of the Medieval period and in which ways does it differ? Bonus credit for a detailed comparison to the nails used in English fishing boats of the period.
4. If calligraphy involves a great deal of skill and practice, why is it still so hard to read? Define user interface as it relates to the calligraphy of the 18th Century.
5. Compare the parallel development of blimp technology, mayonnaise and the recent evolutionary developments of beetles (if any).
6. What was the influence of the Cold War on the politics of the area around the Piazza Santo Spirita in Florence, Italy in the second week of May, 1964?
7. Several important people have noted that the character of Boo Radley is never shown onscreen during the Back to the Future Trilogy. What are some of the reasons that the authors would have left him out of the films? In what ways can the Back to the Future series be seen as sequels to the book To Kill a Mockingbird?
8. Contrast the cuteness factor (h23A) of the lowland chinchilla with the overbearing power of a thermonuclear explosion without falling into the classic Dremel Dixon Conundrum.
9. Discuss the prevalence of anthropomorphic animals and objects in children’s stories, programs and films. In what ways does this relate to the common animistic religions of indigenous populations?
10. In what ways can the film Kelly’s Heroes be seen as an allegory? What would Don Rickles’ character “Crapgame” represent? Compare and contrast this with the role of the beast Orgolio from Edmund Spencer’s The Fairy Queen. Is it just a coincidence that Spencer’s work rhymes with the restaurant Dairy Queen?
All essays are due by 9:15 A.M. (Zulu Time) 8 November 2006
My Brunch with Dirk Benedict
Dirk Benedict came over on Sunday, mid-afternoon. He didn’t take haste in coming, for our time together is leisurely. In answering his knock, I opened the door to find that dashing man upon my verandah. Standing tall and full of life, he sent vibrations near and far.
With bloody maries already at hand I invited him to sit. Oh did we wile away the time, sipping at our cocktails; discussing Aristophanes and macroeconomics. Dirk Benedict, I say, is a masterful economist. with command of theory, practical experience and a rapacious imagination. Later we happily switched to sangria.
I gently bade him enter now, for a fine repast I had awaiting. His eyes were twinkling as he dug right in. His mane is cherubic when he’s eating rye toast and fried ham, and almost laughing at his eggs benedict. Dirk Benedict enjoys that jape, no matter how many times it’s done.
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The ABCs of NATO
For many years the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, and its various military forces, have utilized a system whereby they substitute a common word for a letter of the alphabet in radio-graphic communication. This is meant to ease communication. But, I find that their word choices are a bit random and I don’t at all approve. Therefore, I would like NATO to adopt a new NATO, or phonetic alphabet. After all, we can’t have NATO forces supporting the drinking of whiskey, a known intoxicant.
Menagerie of Mini-Biographies
Louis Tolwind Meyerson (1898 – 1967) – Louie Legs to his friends, Meyerson was only the second man to become a naturalized citizen of Canolia and the first man to weatherproof the interior of a home. This was a necessity as a result of Louie Legs’ inveterate pursuit of indoor cloud-seeding experiments. Also as a result he created his only useful contribution to society: 100% fire proofing, which protected his house from numerous lightning strikes.
Q. Eric Johnson (1948 – 2006) – Tall and ruddy, with dark sandy hair and all limbs intact, Q. Eric started his life as a middle class child growing up in suburban Mitchell, Elizabethia. Upon graduation from Muni-Tech College in 1968, he took on what would be the first of many managerial positions with Bangers ‘n’ Mash, the multinational English-themed fast food chain. A lifelong bachelor, Q. Eric died in his sleep on January 12, 2006.
Anna Peterson (1843) – Anna enjoyed breastfeeding and drooling, yet only occasionally laughed. Her most favored possession was a blue quilted blanket stitched together by her grandmother. She never learned to walk.
Maximus Felix Quintus Lotho (67 – 20 BC) – Quintus became famous for running around the entire circumference of Rome, as well as several cities in Gaul, Armenia and Pontus. He was granted the right to wear shoes within them temple of Jupiter and to ogle the ankles of the Vestal Virgins. His honor was taken away from him later in life, when he continued his practice of running; this time away from a force of outnumbering Parthians. His last words were reportedly “does anyone else smell eggs?”
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