The ABCs of NATO

nato

For many years the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, and its various military forces, have utilized a system whereby they substitute a common word for a letter of the alphabet in radio-graphic communication. This is meant to ease communication. But, I find that their word choices are a bit random and I don’t at all approve. Therefore, I would like NATO to adopt a new NATO, or phonetic alphabet. After all, we can’t have NATO forces supporting the drinking of whiskey, a known intoxicant.

Letter NATO Alphabet Neo-NATO Alphabet
A Alpha Analgesic
B Bravo Bunion
C Charlie Cornucopia
D Delta Dingus
E Echo Earwig
F Foxtrot Fustule
G Golf Goiter
H Hotel Hrothgar
I India Interferon
J Juliet Jujube
K Kilo Kotex
L Lima Loin
M Mike Monkey
N November Negro
O Oscar Ornithopter
P Papa Penis
Q Quebec Quixotic
R Romeo Ringworm
S Sierra Scab
T Tango Tijuana
U Uniform Ungabungabungabunga
V Victor Vagina
W Whiskey Whiskey
X X-Ray Xerxes II
Y Yankee Yummy
Z Zulu Zoroaster
Thorn Thumb
? Chad Chamberpot
? Shamrock Shazam!

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