For many years the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, and its various military forces, have utilized a system whereby they substitute a common word for a letter of the alphabet in radio-graphic communication. This is meant to ease communication. But, I find that their word choices are a bit random and I don’t at all approve. Therefore, I would like NATO to adopt a new NATO, or phonetic alphabet. After all, we can’t have NATO forces supporting the drinking of whiskey, a known intoxicant.
Letter | NATO Alphabet | Neo-NATO Alphabet |
A | Alpha | Analgesic |
B | Bravo | Bunion |
C | Charlie | Cornucopia |
D | Delta | Dingus |
E | Echo | Earwig |
F | Foxtrot | Fustule |
G | Golf | Goiter |
H | Hotel | Hrothgar |
I | India | Interferon |
J | Juliet | Jujube |
K | Kilo | Kotex |
L | Lima | Loin |
M | Mike | Monkey |
N | November | Negro |
O | Oscar | Ornithopter |
P | Papa | Penis |
Q | Quebec | Quixotic |
R | Romeo | Ringworm |
S | Sierra | Scab |
T | Tango | Tijuana |
U | Uniform | Ungabungabungabunga |
V | Victor | Vagina |
W | Whiskey | Whiskey |
X | X-Ray | Xerxes II |
Y | Yankee | Yummy |
Z | Zulu | Zoroaster |
‡ | Thorn | Thumb |
? | Chad | Chamberpot |
? | Shamrock | Shazam! |