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Author Archives: Delores Grunion
News of the World: November 2005
The War At Sea!
As our hovercraft slid through the night, I could make out shadows grouped on the horizon. I took another bite of my tomato and let the juice dribble down my chin. It was a little over ripe, making loud squishing noises.
“The blockade fleet,” Seaman Mylar pointed out as he, too, munched unenthusiastically on a tomato. “They’re on constant patrol all through here.” One of the hovercraft crew, Mylar was a fit young man with the bronzed skin and muscular build characteristic of his Maori heritage. Though he told me he had joined up six months ago, just after his eighteenth birthday, I’d have never guessed it; already he spoke with the calm certainty and bore the tomato-stained battle blouse of a veteran. To a man, despite their ages or ranks, the Hovermen showed an emotionless acceptance; other fruits and vegetables had long been left behind. For an army man it’s the Thousand Yard Stare. For these navy files it’s the Twenty Mile Squint.
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Letters: December 2005
Written Correspondences from Good Natured Gentlemen Who Have Read our Previous Installments and Wish to Comment on Some Aspects Thereof.
Dear Editors of Axes & Alleys,
I have several complaints concerning the movie Hackers. It is highly unrealistic that a character such as Cereal Killer, or Emanuel Goldstein, would have knowledge of First Corinthians 13:11. A Jewish Hacker, or Ordohinni, would probably have little understanding of the Christian writings of Saint Paul the Evangelist. This major error has ruined an otherwise enjoyable film.
Lucky Sturgeon
Himmotsburo, PD.
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Fun with Words
Anagrams
You can rearrange the words in a phrase to spell new words. Perhaps this can reveal the truth about things. Who knows, lots of things are possible, even stupid things.
Dick Warren Armstrong
Be ware of war god, dude.
The United States of America
Where can we park, sir? My car eats.
San Francisco
Fun in fog sun
Cover the Marmalade in Zeppelins
Many put air ships on jam, a uncle rots
London, England
Long domination
World War Two
Lord, why win tower?
Wear your heart on your sleeve.
Show me my forgotten tomorrow
Axes and Alleys
Dean needs alleles
Palindromes
These fun phrases can be read forward and backwards. What fun you’ll have.
Aztec death means Spaniard yards grow hi-tech, dz.
Madam, there must be in the garden a loose madman.
A can, a tank, a lob the boy at a cantankerous canasta.
Forgive the parish priest, he said the purchased Parcheesi on the olive.
Wexans wait for the whitewash walls of taxaw.
Find the glove, Robert or the rowboat will turn, Ralf.
O! It rains folio!
Dennis and Otto sinned.
Birdman ate sparerib.