Category Archives: Quick Hits
Reinvent Yourself
Prostitution

Classified Ads: February 2006
FOR SALE
World’s largest hamster. It’s fifty three feet long and lives in an airplane hangar. Once it ate a mailman. $400 or best offer.
Toby, Box 21.
FOR SALE
Radio-cryptology kit, including rotary hammer, spelunking bib and powdered helmet mix. Perfect gift for any radio-cryptologists you know.
718-093-9312, ext. 405.
FOR SALE
Trireme, slightly used, some oars missing. Slave rowers available for extra cost.
Talk to Bobby D. down at the office.
WANTED
Robotic squirrels for use in terrarium. Should look as realistic as possible.
Ramada Inn, Treper’s Pass NV.
FOR SALE
Two butter knives, one for butter and one for margarine. Do not mix them up. Contract is voided if you mix them up. Don’t do it.
Randolph VI of Silesia. Box 456.
FOR SALE
Two eyebrows, brown in color. Found in alley.
Chad Colon. 747-474-7744.
FOR SALE
One hundred and twelve complete sets of “12 Monkeys” action figures. Free broken radiator valve included.
Tony Blair, 10 Downing St. London SW1.
FOR SALE
Motorboat noise. I will come over and do my noise any time you want for only four dollars a minute.
Carrie Anne Moss. Box 121.
Ashes.

