Trite Phrases Examined

“One Person Can Make a Difference.”

Obviously we all change the world every day, simply by existing in the set designated “everyone in the world.” The problem is changing the world according to your own wishes in well-documented series of actions. Meaningful, but pure egotism. Ask anyone how Sargon the Great changed the world; they won’t know…and in the same way, your own actions, no matter how significant they seem, will eventually be forgotten.

“The Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side.”

So, your neighbor’s stuff is better and you want it? This is such a common behavior that it actually shows up in the Ten Commandments. It’s simple enough; of course we spend all our time wishing or daydreaming about acquiring things not currently in our possession. After all, you don’t need to wish for things you already have.

“Slow and Steady Wins the Race.”

No, this is a race. A race is defined as a contest of speed where the prize goes to the competitor with the highest velocity. Slow and steady might get you through an algebra examination, but it’s not going to win you any races, in the way unprepared and illiterate aren’t going to get you a good score on the SATs.

“Two Wrongs Don’t Make a Right.”

This depends if this involves multiplication or addition. If you add two negatives you get a negative sum, but if you multiply two negatives the outcome is positive. In order to prove or disprove this you first have to determine how morality works mathematically which is unfortunately beyond the scope of the world’s numeroethicologists at this point.

“Never Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth”

Essentially this is telling us not to worry about the quality of things we get for free. It makes sense; compare a free socialist punk zine to a real glossy, compare Jewel-Command-Metris to Halo 2 or compare the soup kitchen’s fare to dinner at The Four Seasons. No, you shouldn’t complain, but simply because no one cares about the opinions of people who read poorly Xeroxed socialist punk zines.

“It’s Always Darkest Just Before the Dawn.”

This is pure wishful thinking designed to comfort us in times of trouble. Of course, it’s wrong. Say two people crash their cars in the desert and have to crawl, bloody and scorched for days until they’re rescued. Then, one dies in the hospital. In his case it was brightest just before dusk.