Axes and Alleys: the most Leviticus-friendly tractor related publication out there. Period.

This month, Axes & Alleys will explore the vast depths of the human psyche, the highest reaches of inner space, the widest territories of late-Medieval Czech colloquialisms and the brightest points of fog science. We regret this momentary departure from tractor-related reporting and reviewing, but two factors have brought us to this temporary impasse.

The tractor industry has been in a slump during the first quarter. No new models have been added to any of the major tractor manufacturing companies, including Snuggies Tract’s, Parsimmon Horsepower Extravaganza or Buffalo Power Sowing.

Also, due to Kalisotta House Bill 3619.3, passed by a four vote margin in February, Axes & Alleys is also required to publish one non-tractorial issue per annum in accordance with Section 3, Paragraph 75, sub-section H, clause 1.

Our sister publication, Cosmopolitan Nun’s Home Journal will feature many articles on tractor repair and maintenance this month in order to better serve our readers, however the bulk of the magazine will still be devoted to such topics as the proper technique with which to give the Saviour oral sex and proper table settings for a visiting Abbott and retinue.

Again, we offer our sincerest apologies, but we sincerely hope you enjoy this momentary departure from our normal standards. We’ve attempted to make it as entertaining as possible for you, our dear reader.

xxx ooo

Delores R. Grunion