Axes & Alleys:Like a Vest Made of Words!

In response to the plague of intellectual property theft and piracy which had inundated our world, we at Axes & Alleys have decided to take steps to prevent the unlicensed copying of this magazine. Starting now, all issues will have a magnesium strip hidden in them. When photocopied, this strip will ignite, causing the magazine to burst instantly into whitehot 1000 degree flames. Please be advised, dear readers, that this anti-piracy device is highly sensitive and may also be set off by nearby microwave ovens, direct sunlight or movement. Thanks for helping us prevent piracy!
xxx ooo
Delores Grunion
Editor-in-Chief

This month’s cover girl
Mia Kirshner once won a pickle eating
contest and portrays a sinful lesbian
on televison.