Axes & Alleys:No MSG!

Attention Readers:

The world is running low on cough drops. Recent international treaties governing the hunting of whales have made it nearly impossible for Vicks and other cough drop suppliers to maintain their levels of output. Whale bones are the primary ingredient in most commercially available cough drops.

The World Consortium of Things has released a report on their internet website, www.consortiumofthings.org, detailing the fact that after August there will be no more cough drops left in the world!

So, go out and buy cough drops now! Otherwise you’ll never be able to get cough drops again. Make sure you run up to the Duane Reade, Eckard or Best-Mart and buy as many cough drops as you possibly can. Don’t be left in lurch when that tickle in your throat strikes! Remember, hoarding cough drops is the only solution! Please, for your sake and for the sake of your children, go out and buy as many cough drops as you can today!

xxx ooo

Delores

P!NK is a singer in the genre of popular music. She is not particularly skilled at spelling, as witnessed by her magnum opus Missundaztood.