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A VERY SPECIAL END-OF-THE-WORLD ISSUE

We here at Axes and Alleys must report the latest very unfortunate news. It seems as though this world we have come to love and dwell upon is coming to an end next Tuesday. Therefore, we must apologize as this will be our final issue.

This was first brought to our attention when Dr. Sigmund G. Folive, our resident Egyptologist, turned in his latest report on the precise scientific measurement of the Great Pyramid of Cheops in Egypt.

It seems that when one multiplies the height of the Pyramid (481 ft.) by the measurements of the bases (4 x 775.75) and then multiplies that number by the degree of inclination (51?) and then divides the total by the number of blocks used in the construction (2,300,000); and when this sum is multiplied by the number of stars in the Milky Way Galaxy (605,166,825.22) you get the number 20,031,021,915 which corresponds to the date October 21st, 2003 at 9:15. Archaeologists are not sure, however, as to whether this indicates an evening or morning apocalypse.

They are certain, though, that this is correct as they have found hieroglyphs which state that the Pyramid was built specifically for the purpose of determining the end of the year by using the Neo-Gregorian calendar and modern Imperial units of measurement. So, readers, enjoy this last issue and have a nice Doomsday.