The March of Progress: November 2005

Traveler I Set for Launch

Space Flats, Florida: Scientists, many of them loosely affiliated with NASA (National Aerospace Science Association) have announced the launching of a new interstellar space probe which will follow in the footsteps of Pioneers Ten, Eleven and Voyager. Dr. Aves Dimnation, Baron Administrator of NASA declared in a press conference early Tuesday morning that Traveler I will “utilize new advances in stellar propulsion to catch up with Voyager and Pioneer. Hopefully Traveler I will arrive at some unknown alien civilization roughly two or three weeks after the first probes. It will be a hopeful moment for humanity.” Scientists are hopeful that the new information contained in Traveler I’s specialized platinum plates will correct some of the erroneous record playing instructions contained on the Voyager Interstellar Record. NASA, as you may recall, was heavily involved in the space race of the 1950s and 1960s.

Voyager Plate

Changing Direction: The new plate aboard the Traveler I will help aliens better understand how to listen to interstellar recordings, which now feature a hot new dance remix of the Whale Song track.

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