An Exclusive Interview with TV and Film Star Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen (We’re not exactly sure which one)

Recently, I took the opportunity to have a discussion with actress Mary Kate, or perhaps actress Ashley, Olsen. Stars of Full House, New York Minute and The Olsen Twins Ride Again, the twins have become major celebrities; stalked by the paparazzi, seen on countless shows and interviewed by countless publications. Hence, I decided that my interview was going to be different. Here we are going to strip away the layers of media creation and look into the soul of a real person struggling with real problems. Of course, I’m still not exactly sure which Olsen twin it was, but I think we all gained some valuable insight into this woman’s soul.

Axes&Alleys: Which one are you looking for?

Mary Kate or Ashley: The cork board. What size does that come in?

A&A: A couple different ones, 18 by 24, 24 by 36, or 36 by 48.

MKorA: Which one is that? (referring to the display model).

A&A: That’s the 18 by 24.

MKorA: So what’s the next size up?

A&A: Two feet by three feet.

MKorA: That’s a bulletin board, right?

A&A: A cork board. Yeah.

MKorA: Can have three of that size?

A&A: Do you want an aluminum edge or a wooden edge.

MKorA: Which one is better?

A&A: That depends on which one you want.

MKorA: I want just a big area.

A&A: You could just get a roll of cork. Then there’d be no border, just a large board.

MKorA: Cork?

A&A: That’s what this is, just cork.

MKorA: Oh.

A&A: Do you need something self-healing?

MKorA: No.

A&A: You could just use big pieces of foam core. That’s lighter and you can tack things onto it.

MKorA: Yeah, that’s good. That’s on the…second floor?

A&A: Third floor.

MKorA: Third floor. Thank you very much.

A&A: Do you like muffins?

MKorA: What?

A&A: Do you like muffins?

MKorA: Muffins are good, yeah.

A&A: Okay. Thanks.

MKorA: Thank you.

Though I am still not certain which Olsen twin this was, I am still delighted to have had the opportunity to look into the soul of this struggling and noble person. And, on behalf of all of Axes & Alleys, I would like to once again thank her for taking the time out of her busy schedule to show her appreciation for tractors.

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