A Point-Counterpoint Discussion
Jules Strickland is a professor of Geo-Politics who has recently authored the award winning book Loose Women and Battery Farms: The Impact of Human Sexuality on American Agribusiness.
From billionaire heiress Dakota Bester to that girl at the bar last night, everyone loves a good slut. Sluts are a vital natural resource in this age of growing plight. From a psychological perspective, sluts are incredibly useful. For instance, even though a man knows a girl is a slut he will still enjoy having sexual relations with her. Though she is a loose woman who will sleep with anyone with a pulse, the slut provides a useful psychological tool for helping men, and even women, deal with their own problems and the problems of society. A man can read the paper and hear about war and terror and death, he can look at his own life and worry about his social status, his bills, his job or even his personal appearance and grooming, but all that fear and doubt about life and the world is washed away in the brief act of sex with a slut. Sluts make us feel good. Even though they only make us feel good for one day or so, sluts allow us to take a vacation from the problems of life; a sex vacation. Take a look at the recent popularity of Dakota Bester. This girl has no talent, no useful skills. She is a leech on her father and on society as a whole. She has only rudimentary intelligence and she’s only slightly attractive. And yet people love to watch her, love to vicariously take part in her adventures. Why is this? The answer is simple: Dakota Bester’s presence in the media reminds us that there are sluts in this world and reminds us that no-strings-attached sex is just a few tequila shots away. Sluts keep us happy and they keep society well balanced. In a word, sluts make the world a better place using only their well-lubricated genitals. Everyone loves sluts.
Samuel Radget, bataillian economist, founded and is a weekly editorial contributor to Accursed Share Weekly and originated the Reflective Left Foot model of surplus arts and crafts production.
The slut is the same socio-economic symptom as the nouveaux riches. Like those inheritors of wealth they did not earn, sluts spend sexual capital inherited from their forebears without reinvestment or further production of sensual wealth. At once sluts are the feminine analog of junk bonds and the physical coëqual of Chinese intellectual property thieves. While the true woman uses her superiority to continuously build the social bridge into the coming times, the slut steals this capacity, creating a situation not unlike some cheaply mass-produced Fiat or Yugo subcompact car. The momentary wealth of sexual congress is wasted in a frenzy. Whereas the true woman adds value to the market, the slut is only an illegally produced DVD awaiting you on the sidewalk, wrapped in poorly-printed coverings and hocked by Latin American immigrants. The slut does not engage in free trade, per se, but rather epitomizes a highly-leveraged tariff and subsidy system which eventually devalues the common vaginal market. The slut is a non-sustainable commodity amongst a spectrum of viable alternative sources. With the slut comes genital stagflation. With the slut comes decreased consumer confidence. Embrace the slut and you embrace at once Trotskyite thought and rigid dictatorship.
Far too often we hear these so called experts discussing the economics of female genitalia. Time and time again we have heard this tired old argument; the presence of freely given sluts’ vaginas in the mating pool devalues the less than freely given vaginas of the core female population. This assertion is patently absurd. When one explores the economic model, one must realize that these slut vaginas operate as a sort of “super-dollar” which is not earned but given freely and which has a higher rate of turn-over circulation than the standard dollar. Essentially the argument follows that if these super-dollars existed the economy would collapse because fewer and fewer people would want standard dollars, preferring the super dollar. This is illogical, as one must assume that super dollars, like sluts, are not as common as standard dollars or core women. In this model, the super dollar, or slut vagina, is much like a free Red Lobster gift certificate. Consumers are free to enjoy the special treat of a Red Lobster dinner, but this does not stop them from earning and transacting standard dollars on non Red Lobster related goods and services. The economy, i.e. the mating pool, stays strong and these super dollars, or slut vaginas, provide us with a special delight from time to time. Sluts are not like pirated media, instead sluts are the icing on the cake of vagino-penile interaction.
The flypaper theory of slutdom, that sluts distract the populace from daily and global woes and thus help to solve such woes, is a complete tautology weaving a ring of incorrect supposition. Subscribers to this theory merely replace the comfortable warmth of the rational uterus with an accidental plunge through the sphincter of logic. This Dakota Bester is no symptom of libertine zeitgeist, but rather the result of the same new rich pressures spilled out through shrewd publicity agents and lackluster gossip page reportage. That sluts may make those with whom they copulate “feel good for one day or so” merely serves to strengthen the argument of wasted vaginal capital. Sluts are an unnatural prop under the sexual free market. Flood the market with mass-produced knock-offs and the bottom falls out. A quality vaginal interaction serves all the purposes of relaxation, distraction and psychological wellness while adding the bonding experience. The psychological benefits of the Hussy Estate have never been proven scientifically, based wholly on anecdotal evidence and supposition. This pulsing anarchist cunny only creates the tawdry monopoly we see destroying culture through the failure to promulgate the excess surplus of a proper sexual machine. Furthermore, the idea that “everyone loves a good slut” has been disproven by numerous research studies and public opinion polls. Last month, Pew released a study finding that 41% of those surveyed “loved a good slut,” while 36% did not and 23% had no opinion. This plurality is hardly the set of “everyone.”
A Final Thought
We can debate the theories of slut impact forever; whether the Triad Hypothesis holds more water than the Plenary III Growth Theory or the Over-Ambivalence Dynamic. When all is said and done, the truth is that men will vote with their penises and time and time again they vote for the slut vagina. And in this sex-election, sluts will win every time, because we all love a good slut.
The Super-Dollar Axiom may at its surface make sense, but its clear origination in widely discredited Coupon Theory cuts that idea off at the knees. One might as well attribute the observed pressures of the mating schema to a talking bullfinch named Samuel. Like the overburdening resource depletion of impoverished refugees, the modern slut-exposition matrix creates an unequal and unfair control, leasing the great orifice to a despicable vagarchy.