Aboard the research vessel Prettyboy no one seems particularly worried. There are abundant sandwiches and coffee, several decks of cards and a Chinese knock-off video game console. There are also abundant hypotheses; many hypotheses have been tossed about since last Tuesday and there will certainly be many more to come. There were already twelve at breakfast and two while the crew was busy playing bocce ball.

“We’re not ruling out a vortex of some sort,” stated perky, young graduate student Lucy Wormwood, “or even a Tectonic Incident.” Ham and cheese wielding Associate Professor of Geography Daniel Gearbox was quick to add “Those hypotheses are only about physical phenomena. It’s possible that the Red Chinese, or even the Japanese or Mexicans have some sort of super-weapon at their disposal. Someone…”

“Or some thing” interrupted Lucy, who then defiantly added two packets of artificial sweetener to her coffee. “Some thing” she repeated, carefully putting extra emphasis on the ‘thing’ element. Then she made a sort of spooky expression before sipping her java.

Nuclear psychic Joanna Stephens tosses the cut-off crusts from her newly-minted PB & J while saying that it “could be an interaction of the weak extrasensory force with a supercorporeal attenuated anomaly. This happened before, a couple of times.” But no one pays Joanna any mind.

“There are a lot of hypotheses out there now, and a lot of speculation” added Jam Jacobson, a hat-wearing cartographer who had tagged along. Alone of the scientific crew, he sips a bloody mary beverage and eats gold fish. It’s always afternoon for Jam.

“Not to mention speculations and guesses,” pointed out Daniel. Before Daniel can cast his fishing line out again, the crew is startled by a sea gull winging its way south with a pair of underpants in its mouth.

“I, for one, would not rule out conjecture at this stage” added Lucy as she pointed her fingers at Jam and Daniel as if to suggest that she knew something they did not.

Either way, it seems there are no easy answers to this puzzling enigma. As our ship slid through the waters that now stood on the former site of Inchon, I could not help but try and come up with a few conjectures of my own. Despite all the research and investigation, not one real clue has been found to shed one lumen of light on this mystery. Perhaps it will takes years before we find out why or how the entire Korean peninsula disappeared without a trace. Plate tectonics anomalies, super-weapons, or even some thing notwithstanding, one thing we do know is that the world will miss Korea and its 60 million people.

Tectonic Incident
This is the term that less-than-eminent geologists use to describe a situation where a giant rift suddenly occurs and swallows up a region, like Korea, then closes. While it could explain the disappearance of Korea, the world’s seismographs should have recorded something abnormal, which they did not last Tuesday.

Super-Weapon
Possibly China or Japan used a kind of maser to obliterate Korea without a trace. It’s unlikely that Sinonipponesia would attempt to destroy a subject state. Even more unlikely is the idea that the Bad Guys may have destroyed Korea, especially since all the BG particle weapons were captured in the Battle of Katmandu.

Trans-Dimensional Rift
For years scifi authors have described a phenomena whereby a hole in space-time may lead to another dimension. Perhaps a vortex opened up and Korea was taken to a different plane of existence. It should be noted, however, that the Many-Worlds Hypothesis is stupid.

Inviso-Shield
The toothpaste Schnitzeldent has recently gained 100% market penetration in Korea. Famous for creating an invisible shield to protect the teeth, Schnitzeldent use may have caused all light to refract around Korea, rendering the entire peninsula invisible. Perhaps if something bad happens, all the Koreans will cease smiling, rendering Schnitzeldent’s “invisible shield” powerless.

Aliens
Were aliens involved? No one knows, or perhaps the government is covering it up. Author R. Don Rutherd has speculated that Koreans descend from an alien race that colonized Earth in the 1720s. Perhaps the aliens returned to take their children back home. Of course, Mr. Rutherd’s theory seems to ignore the fact that Korea existed before the year 1723 and that Koreans are genetically identical to all other humans.

Vacation
The likeliest explanation so far is that the Koreans and their Peninsula have merely gone on holiday and should return shortly.

Did You Try Looking?
It is possible, however unlikely, that Korea has simply been misplaced. Some recommend actually looking, via expeditions or even satellite reconnaissance. It’s a long shot, but it just might work.