Entertainments for Children and the Mentally Infirm

Hey kids, don’t be bored this summer! Axes & Alleys has tons of fun stuff for you to do!

Currently the twenty-three and one half degree axial tilt of the planet Earth has produced a situation wherein our Northern Hemisphere is tilted toward the Sun. This is known as “Summer.” During this period children are free from the drudgeries of scholastic endeavor, harvesting and sweat-shop factory work. This can produce idleness, which poisons young minds. Thus, we present here an inventory of wholesome activities to ensure that children remain active and free from the temptations of Satan and his countless demonic minions.

Visit a local Petting Zoo. There you can see neat animals like sheep and goats. You can then inquire about employment opportunities. They may have an opening and you can spend your summer with animals, shoveling their waste.

Find a stray dog and adopt it. Give it a funny name and teach it some tricks. Then, using a wood chopping axe, slaughter the dog, skin and gut it. Then cook and eat it. You get a fine meal and get to learn new things about other cultures, such as what real Chinese food tastes like.

Get together a few friends and form a club. A fun type of club is the Detective Club. You get to have a clubhouse, hold cool meetings and spy on your parents and neighbors. Be sure to report any suspicious activity to the police.

Or, you could spend a rainy afternoon at the local library and formulate a working Unified Field Theory.

The fun never stops with Axes & Alleys!

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