Home-made robot costume. Made of 1 in. thick iron plates. Weight: 1.2 metric tonnes. Difficult to move in. Really difficult. £300 or best offer.
Recording of “Das Rheingold” performed with banjo-and-kazoo-only orchestra. Comes in special fifty-four CD box set. Yours for only one nickel. The Kalamazoo Kazoo Cotillion, 011.318. 618.281.2711.
Kay Hanley impersonator to perform at retirement village. Old people really like Kay Hanley but the real Kay Hanley hates the elderly.
Happy Acres Rest Home, Birmingham, AL.
Minions needed to help me in my quest for world domination. If you fail me, I will kill the guy next to you. Dental plan included. Aristotle Scorpio, Seoul, Korea, Room 3.
Coupon for fifty cents off dish detergent. $4.00 per day, plus mileage. Contact Lionel, 77.333.8381.
Cigarette lighter cleverly disguised as M-1 Abrams tank. Full size only. Will pay up to y5,000 or trade for Apache helicopter style can-opener. Yasper Keating, Box 553.
Paraglider Pig. World-famous county fair performer and popular philosopher. Must have state-certified slop trough and installed, functional mud puddle, and 40 foot tall launching pylon to purchase.Only $3000. Not for use as bacon. Call Dan at 445-6822
Space to hold cannibal flesh roast for visiting team of imitation Mexican wrestlers. One female with excellent secondary sexual characteristics.
Package of one dozen cigarette lighters. Please do not open package of one dozen cigarette lighters.
Los Angeles, CA
My left hand. I don’t think I really need it. Free. Bring own tools.
Model of the rocky mountains. Any scale. Must be fully-functional.
W. Price, 35 Prescott Ln. West Ontario, OT
Succubus. We’ve been together for 4 decades, but much of the glamor is gone. As is. Lascivious thoughts included.
Bottom 1/3 of Pacific Ocean. Call for details: 272.181.18111, ext. 2. Ask for Jacum.
Municipal water tower full of tiny, evil-looking snow men dolls. Some animated by dead spirits. $7100 or best offer. Pyle Heights, PD. 72721.
One box full of atomic element #405. Four hundred protons? That sure is heavy. I’ll take a box worth. Ruth W. 77.333.8382.
Fry cook needed to head up marketing department. We happen to like the smell of burning oil and fry cooks just wreak of it.Please ring DeLancy Pharmaceuticals.
Dead cat. Really cheap. The pet cemetery wants y100 to bury it. You can have it for anything less than that. Sean O’Malley, Ulster.
One hundred, twenty two thousand, four hundred and eight Indira Ghandi bobble-head dolls. Free eggplant included. Tony Blair, 10 Downing Street, London SW1.
Bicycle with triangular wheels. No, it doesn’t work. Ask for Father Rio Ban 77.333.8384.