News of the World: October 2003

Norway Invaded!

Flying High: New Norwegian dictator, Lumpy, presides as the Neo-Norwegian flag is hoisted above the capital

OSLO- Continuing a nearly two century trend in momentous governmental change for Norway, marmosets captured the entirety of Norway’s ruling parliament, the Storting, today. Chief Marmoset of Battle, Harold Longteeths, proclaimed “grrrraaaworweeep!”

The decisive move is more than likely the last in the boldest invasion since that of Sweden in the 19th Century. The Royal Family is reportedly on the run in Norway’s northern tundra. A division of marmoset commandos has been trailing King Harald V and the Crown Prince, who fled the palace and their respective wives in a fit of cowardice.

With the marmosets now creating a provisional Neo-Norwegian government, protests from around the globe seem impotent at best. “I understand that Norwegia has been attacked today. I know some white people are very upset at this moment and I would just like to say I feel their pain,” said President Handley of the U.S.

However, other world leaders seem particularly gleeful over the takeover. “I think those damned Norwegians got what they deserved. Maybe now the marmosets will share the women with us,” a jovial Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi of Italy declared.

Fear Rules the Streets: Marmoset attack on Oslo

It is not clear what the marmoset’s next moves in Norway or beyond will be, but the other Scandinavian countries have been girding for war, with backup evacuation plans to Iceland and Greenland in the works, the next year appears to be one of the greatest movements of Scandinavian peoples since the year 994.

1 thought on “News of the World: October 2003

  1. Ve aRe Verry looking much Vorvard to inkomink marmosets; why you think we send crappy floor fish left over to USA as cereal? Bjarne! Ha HA hHA
    but now we hungry, act first, think maybe later –
    Icelandik idiom.

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