A Special Scientism Section

The Astounding and Contrafibulating Advances of Science and Learning to be Witnessed by Gentle-Men of the God Fearing Nations in Years Which Shall Follow This One.

Doctor Ulf Goltschleer (age 12) is an inventor, scientist and tinker. He was also the winner of the 1932 Nobel Prize for Applied Radio-Zoology.

His inventions include the Electric Pram, the Carbuncle Inductor, the Silent Gropple Choke, the Wireless Hammer, the Four-Way Radio, the Alternating Sigmoido-Scope and Asia.

He is also notable for the fact that he once murdered Thomas Alva Edison.

* Buildings one hundred feet high!
* Specialized contraptions which are able to navigate through the atmospheres!
* Devices which shall enable men to determine the direction of the wind’s blowing!
* Specialized plates formed from translucent materials which shall be constructed into structures so as to allow men to see though walls.
* Contraptions which will allow for the motorization of all manner of farming implements!
* Carriages which may perambulate without the aid of a pack animal!
* Ocean-going vessels capable of traversing the Atlantic Ocean in only one month!
* Electrical China-Men for construction and labor needs, which work without the need for extravagantly costing food stuffs and liquid nourishment!
* Specialized devices which aid in the removal of solid excrement from the anal region!
* Electrical machines which shall be able to create luminescence without the aid of solid or gaseous fuel stuffs.
* Mechanical devices to aid or even replace semaphore as the chief means of communicating over vast distances.
* Scientifical helmets which shall act as shields against the sun’s powerful light, protecting the eyes and face from unneeded exposure.
* And zeppelins, let me tell you, the skies will be full of zeppelins. A zeppelin in every driveway and monkeys in diving helmets roving through the canyons of Jupiter, deathrays in hand, caught in a life-or-death struggle with an army of silver, shining automatons, and flying cars, and monkeys.

A Glorious Future Awaits!

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