A Special Editorial

The Crucible of Silver

by Noted Rail and Oil Party Cantidate Katie-Harrison Gargoyle

I would be presumptuous, indeed, to present myself against the distinguished gentlemen to whom you have listened if this were a mere measuring of abilities; but this is not a contest between persons. The humblest Robber Barron in all the land, when clad in the armor of a righteous cause, is stronger than all the farmers of error. I come to speak to you in defence of a cause as holy as the cause of liberty — the cause of The Gold Standard.

In 1904, the white men of this Nation will select our next President, and it is on this occasion that I must offer forth grave warning of the desolation which shall be brought about if that Pugilistic Poacher Mr. Roosevelt of New York is once again to have power thrust so ignobly upon him.

Nay! Let not America melt herself into the Crucible of Silver! We shall not abandon the Gold Standard which has brought about so noble a Nation from such a verdant land, which the savage Red Man had let go to waste.

Must the Rail Road Tycoons who unite our cities with their endless lines, and the Oil Barons who fuel our great Mother Industry be made to suffer at the whims of those idle and wretched dirt farmers in the West, who out of jealousy, seek to destroy the Bankers and Barons of the prosperous East with its wealth that Providence has provided?

These dirt farming vagabonds desire a devaluation of the dollar so as so escape the interest payments on their loans. I suppose that they must hold to the belief that Bankers need to feed their children’s hungry mouths.
Perhaps these farmers sought out loans only so that they could strike against the industrious Bankers, Oilmen and Railroaders of the East, so as to destroy Mother America, leading our proud Nation into the depths of filthy poverty, moral decay and wretched abasement.

My friends, we declare that this Nation’s Industrialists are able to legislate for their own people on every question, without waiting for the aid or consent of any other class, especially the working classes who are indeed drowned in sinful poverty. It is the issue of 1776 over again. Our ancestors, when but three millions in number had the courage to declare their political domination over the poor of the earth. Are we, their descendants, when we have grown to two hundred and seventy millions, going to declare that we are less independent than our forefathers?

No, my friends, that will never be the verdict of our Nation’s great Industrial Plutocrats. Therefore, we care not upon what lines the battle is fought. If they dare to come out in the open field and defend this so called working-classism as a good thing, we will fight them to the uttermost. Having behind us the Wealthy and Mustachioed Autocratic Rulers of this Nation and the world, supported by the Commercial interests, the Rail Road interests and the Bankers everywhere, we will answer their demand for this currency devaluation by saying to them: You shall not press down upon the brow of the Industry this crown of thorns, you shall not melt America in this crucible of silver.

So, let us put forth our support of the Gold Standard and waive that banner aloft. Vote for the Rail and Oil Party, the party of the true American.

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