Letters: October 2005

Written Correspondences from Good Natured Gentlemen Who Have Read our Previous Installments and Wish to Comment on Some Aspects Thereof.

Dear Axes and Alleys,

There are many ways in which lobsters are completely unlike humans. For one, humans have two legs while lobters have many. Plus, lobsters have an exoskeleton, on the outside, while humans have an internal endoskeleton. Also, humans do not live underwater.

Jack Koostoh.

To the Editors of Axes and Alleys, its parent company Movable Type Printing and its parent company Daniel Bester Inc.:

It has come to our attention that your trade-name “Axes and Alleys” is too similar to our own copyrighted “Axis and Allies” brand of board games. Under the terms of the United States Copyright Act (1971, 1973, and 2002) and the European Governances du Rietes du Copie (1999) you are hereby asked to cease and desist from the use of this name. At this time we do not wish to pursue this matter via the courts and would like to settle this as quickly and reasonably as possible.

Michael D. Griswald
Fimmon, Fimmon & Floon
On Behalf of the Avalon Hill Company

Dear Axes and Alleys,

While salt and pepper are two of our most popular seasonings, I would like to suggest you continue your once ongoing reports on the spice paprika (Volume 454-BT1 Issues 2-18, Paprika Tales: I-XVI). Sixteen articles are barely enough to cover all the important information out there on this oh so extraordinary seasoning. For instance, you never mentioned how the Dacians were the first to use paprika in lamb recipes or the place of paprika in the War of the Roses. I would recommend you restart this unjustly unfinished series.

Nancy Reagan-Onasis
Olive Grove, California

To Axes and Alleys:

We, the people of Yellowknife have unaminously and unilaterally declared that the only legal article for debts public and private from this day forward will be snow. As we have the world market in this priceless substance this city is now the wealthiest on the planet and all the snowless nations of the earth are now under our subjugation (wrested from control of the IMF). Those city-states that now have snow may continue to use it but must now deliver half of their snow to the City-State of Yellowknife immediately upon receipt. In order to carry out an orderly transtion to the new currency existing money can be exchanged at a rate of one per snowflake until next Tuesday at moonset.

Thank you.

The Free Citizens of Yellowknife

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