Durnit County, EL – I wanted to attend the 199th meeting of the American Astronomical Society. It would be the first such meeting ever held in Elizabethia and I hoped to meet some hot stargazers. I got off at Durnit County station, a sprawling network of platforms, glass and steel. I’m a bit puzzled, because Durnit County has no attractions and smells funny.

Both taxis had already left for the day, so I headed down the road in the direction of the soy sauce factory where the convention was being held. Pretty soon I was lost as the road sort of fades into a mayonnaise field. I kept walking in what I thought was the right direction and after a couple of hours heard a car approaching.

To my surprise President Armstrong poked his head out of the stretched VolksWagen beetle asked me if I needed a lift. I hopped in the back, picking up the fez he dropped shouting out the window. The President was on his way back from dedicating a new, foot-activated drinking fountain at the County Courthouse. As the President finished the last page of a comic book. I asked him if he liked drinking fountains and, with a twinkle in his eye he replied that he preferred drinking beverages. We shared a bag of chips and he invited me to the White House to play horse shoes any time.

They were headed back to the train station, so I decided not to go to the AAS meeting after all. The train’s departing in a few minutes and I’m not sure if I’ll stop anywhere else before I hit Florida. Oh, I forgot to mention that the President loves butter and sardine corn chips. Can’t stop wolfing them down.