Roanoke, VA– It’s a town famous for one thing really; a brightly lit star that sits on top of a hill. I didn’t come here for mountains or even stars, I came to this moderately sized community because I had heard about a miracle.

It started last year when a statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary at the Our Lady of Nazareth Church began to taste exactly like purple Kool-Aid®. Local scientists took a piece of the statue and examined it with instruments, determining that it had not been dipped in purple Kool-Aid®. To the townspeople, it’s a miracle sent from God.

Belinda found me at the church and told me that she had hoped the statue would cure her painful corns. She is just one of the many faithful who continue to wait in long lines for a chance to lick the statue and taste the holy flavor of purple Kool-Aid®. Some have come from as far away as Blacksburg just to lick the purple Kool-Aid® statue. They are modern day pilgrims, each hoping that the taste of purple Kool-Aid® will heal their terrible afflictions.

I must say though, after licking the Virgin, I thought it tasted just like a statue. There didn’t seem to be any hint of purple Kool-Aid®. Back in the van, I licked the seat belt. For some reason, I swear it tasted like a red popsicle. A miracle? Maybe, I’m no theologian. But hey, if you think a statue tastes like purple Kool-Aid®, then lick that Virgin like there’s no tomorrow.

As for this pilgrim, she’s off to keep exploring. Maybe the next town will have a real miracle, like a chimpanzee with stigmata. Now that would be something.