June 20, 2004 @ 10:13 pm

How to Do It: June 2004

With Regular Commentator Lemuel LeBratt

By Permanent Guest-Commentator Marcia Spatzelberg

Greetings, Good Readers. This month’s How-To Section is going to help you improve your home greatly, while simultaneously cutting down on your energy bill.

That’s right, I’m going to show you how to turn an ordinary toaster in a Class VIII Nuclear Fission Reactor.

It’s easy, but to make it simpler I’ve put together a list of a handy items you’ll need on hand before you start building. Ready? All right, let’s do this.

WHAT YOU NEED

• Toaster
• Pair of pliers
• Newspaper
• Flat head screwdriver
• 6 miles of copper wire
• 5 million gallons water
• 6 km of 3’’ PVC pipe
• 1 kpg-4 valve (level 6)
• 6000 bags of concrete
• 4 tons enriched uranium 235.
• 12 tons of Cobalt or Iridium.
• 6 Bossard-Neils Direct Current Transformers.
• 608 km of triple insulated electrical wire.
• 82,006 2m sections of steel rebar.
• 10 million and three 1’’ steel rivets.
• Old coffee can (make sure you wash it out)
• scissors
• riveting gun
• lead lined gloves (6 pair)
• 4 High compression CO2 tanks with V3 valves
• EPA certification for Nuclear Reactor Construction (you will be required to fill out form #GH-706-B12 and submit a proper state-issued diver’s license)
• 4 eight million gallon per hour capacity high pressure water pumps.
• 1 twnety ton loading crane on trolley rigging.
• red construction paper.
• glitter
• 16 million watt capacity magnetic containment system.



The list will be continued in the next issue.
Thanks for reading and bye for now, my loves.
xxx ooo
Marcia.

Share This

Leave a comment